American Apologies

It’s been fun putting together the list of American Apologies these past several months, but for now I’m going to give the manifesto a rest. Do not fear, however, because this does not mean the end of the site to which I hold so dear. I will instead try to experiment with the format and shift the focus of the site to contemporary issues in American culture and politics, and hopefully bring a more personal tone to the commentary. That may or may not include posts consisting of my grocery lists and DVD rentals. Stay tuned.

Awww, shucks. Thank you for your continued support of the [insert socialist/communist/marxist/islamic/terrorist/fascist/godless/homosexual] propaganda that is American Apologies. The show must go on! Who knows for how long? Maybe I’ll get bored with America and start my dream project, Finnish Apologies. Only time will tell what direction this site will go…

Here’s a look at what readers think should be apologized for, as well as other submitted comments.

1. “In disagreement with the submission comment about Playboy and hip-hop: The idea that you should apologize for hip-hop or Playboy is a bit ludicrious. Hip-hop started off in a good place. Perhaps apologizing for what happened to hip-hop may be better, but that still implies that the entire genre is bad when there are plenty of conscious rappers still out there, just less prevalent. Also, Playboy, in it’s beginnings, wasn’t that evil. Even now, they donate so much money and time into Feminist and Women Friendly organizations, that I cannot imagine truly harboring a grudge over Playboy. It’s run by a woman for goodness sakes. Perhaps women-on-women sexism needs to be apologized for, and why our patriarchy has condoned and even created such sexism. White privilege is another thing that should be apologized for, I can’t imagine anyone disagreeing after reading ‘Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack’.” - Submitted by andreaisace

2. “So, we apologize for a lot of Republicans. & that’s all good because there are a lot of stupid ones. But, try giving a shout out to the stupid Democrats to. They exist. I’m a moderate, and my Dad could get into this page but he is Republican and feels targeted by the ‘Liberal [leftist in his words] angle of this site’. Throw him a couple democrats to chew on; this is the only time his 63-year-old-self goes on the internet, EVER. Please and Thank You.” - Submitted by mj-hr

3. “Our criticisms of the Vancouver Olympics. http://www.salon.com/life/feature/2010/02/16/olympics_canadians_strike_back” - Submitted by Anonymous

4. “I would like an apology for relentless spreading your television throughout the world on the uneding mission to erradicate non-american programming. I for one want some UK culture back, oh and stop shoving your horrendous pop music down our throats!!!” - Submitted by adamprotz

5. “I think America should appologize for having a ‘queen bee’ affect. Americans like the leader of a high school clique seem to feel like they are the shit because they are the richest blah blah blah. They seem to have the same idea that ‘they don’t like me because they’re jealous’. HAHAHa they don’t like you because like a bitchy teen girl. America is a stuck up ignorant bitch. I love america but its true.” - Submitted by herestotheweekends

Here’s a look at what readers think should be apologized for, as well as other submitted comments.

1. “The Bombs We Left in Laos: Remember that time we went to Vietnam? Remember how we took a few side trips through Laos, dropping cluster bombs? Remember the twenty million tons of bombs we dropped? We sure didn’t. When we left, we left our unexploded munitions behind. Since the end of the war, over 20,000 Lao citizens have been killed or injured by our bombs. Most are children. Some are living in such poverty that they’re actively searching out bombs to sell as scrap metal. It doesn’t end well. Fortunately, we’re a wealthy country now and could clean up our mess.  Unfortunately, we don’t care enough to bother.” - Submitted by squashed

2. “Apolo Ohno is, no doubt, an amazing athlete. However, his shameless list of endorsements, participation in reality tv, and Hollywood attitude is a cornucopia of reasons to hate the United States. His representation of the United States seems all too accurate of most public figures from this nation.” - Submitted by thehappenstance

3. “You should apologize for the 78 days you bombed Serbia & Montenegro, for the 3,000+ innocent civilians you killed (http://www.beograd.rs/cms/view.php?id=201271). For supporting the Mujahideen in Bosnia and Kosovo, you know those guys you’re fighting against today. Not to mention the massive propaganda movement (you know, the “ethnic cleansing” bullshit) you supported in the 90’s that resulted in thousands of innocent people dying (on all sides of the Yugoslav war) so your politicians could move past your presidents BLOW JOB scandal. Maybe acknowledge the fact that Serbia, along with that entire region, saved your ass in WW2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k38N3ECODi8” - Submitted by deppaddicted

4. “I still don´t understand why the president of the most belligerent country recieves the  Nobel Peace Prize,just to defend  during a 30 minute speech that war is necessary.” - Submitted by carlosrodrigo

5. “American Apologies: ‘nuff said.” - Submitted by Anonymous

6. “Soccer moms, Hip Hop Music, Playboy. Apologize for things that need to be apologized for.” - Submitted by oc3ans

7. “skinny jeans :/” - Submitted by markgirl91

8. “I hope you apologize for Kid Rock eventually.” - Submitted by shaknee

9. “You’re a faggort.” - Submitted by Anonymous

10. “WHERE IS MADONNA!!!!! The UK may never forgive us” - Submitted by Anonymous

Thank you for the likes, reblogs, facebooking, twittering, and continued support of all the bitterness that comprises American Apologies. Hopefully there will be 75 more posts to keep you entertained (and infuriated) by the worst that our beloved country has to offer. And as always, comments, questions, and suggestions are welcomed.